Merry Christmas!!

Dearest Family & Friends,

Welcome to the 2008 Carlson Christmas letter! 2008 has been a year of family fun, life changes, business challenges and spiritual growth, for which we are thankful. Brooklyn (4) and Boston (3), our dynamic preschool duo, are our resident comedians, fort-builders, mess-makers, snack-eaters and art-crafters. We are also expecting NUMERO TRES in March because we are currently getting too much sleep and not enough stress! To the shock and disappointment of certain friends and family we are not finding out the sex of the child until its birth (AGHAST)… hey, you’ve gotta shake something up the third time around, right?!? Amber’s motherly intuition says it’s a girl, Brooklyn and Boston can’t decide and speculate it’s a hamster, puppy or eagle, and I’m for all for another boy! We’ll have to see…

The theme of this years letter is: A Day in the Life of the Carlson Family – Through the Eyes of Brooklyn and Boston. Below are a few choice quotes from our crazy kids… ENJOY and have a wonderful holiday season!

“Dad, can you get me a snack?” “Boston, you just ate dinner and I can’t anyway because my legs are broken (jokingly).”
5 minutes later…. “Boston, please throw that in the trash.” “Dad, I can’t… my legs are broken!” Touche, touche!

“Dad, did you know that when people die they go to hot lava?” “Brooklyn I don’t think so, who told you that?” “DAD, [cousin] Allison told me that when people die they go to hot lava and she knows because it’s IN HER DISNEY BOOK and SHE KNOWS HER LETTERS and SHE IS MY FRIEND!” Wow… hard to argue with those sources! We later clarified that people die WHEN they go into hot lava, not when people die they go to hot lava… a very subtle, yet important distinction!

Boston, very concerned one evening commented, “Dad, the moon is BROKEN!” Turns out half moons need fixing to a 3 year old!

“Welcome to McDonalds, your total is $7.53.” “HEY MOM, WHY IS THAT LADY SO FAT?” inquires Brooklyn at the top of her lungs. To quote the Southwest Airlines commercials… “Wanna get away?”

“You Bat-string!” “Good morning little Fluff!” “You little Pus!” – some of the disturbing things Boston, self-made comic, calls people.

“Mom, when is your tummy going to open up and your baby come out?” innocently asks Brooklyn. She’s VERY excited for the new baby!

“Boston, where is mom?” I ask early one morning. “Dad, mom is DEAD,” says Boston matter of factly.

“Dad, I DON’T want to see the WOLF this morning!” says Brooklyn. “Dad, I DO want to see the WOLF!” counters Boston. Every morning, after singing songs, counting numbers/months/days of the week, commenting on broken cars, the power plant, oil refinery, and Boondocks and arguing about snacks, we drive by the WOLF in Eastlake. The WOLF is a large, white, wolf-looking dog that lives near the kids school. The kids are terrified of the WOLF… so, being the good father that I am, we drive by the WOLF every morning, sometimes even rolling down the windows so the WOLF can jump in for a nibble if he would like! Oh the joys of fatherhood! ☺

“DAD, WHEN YOU AREN’T WITH US MOM GETS ME WHATEVER I WANT FROM TARGET! YOU ARE HURTING MY FEELINGS AND BREAKING MY HEART!” says a hysterical, in timeout Brooklyn after getting told she couldn’t get a Barbie Princess Nintendo Wii game. Her tirade was entertaining yet disturbing on so many levels and we now have a ZERO PLACATING PURCHASES POLICY at Target so Amber and I are both equally mean and heartbreaking! Gotta love parenting!

One afternoon Amber and I had a lengthy discussion about when to start Boston in school (his birthday is right on the deadline), its effects on academics, sports, dating, mission, college, and so we turned to Boston and asked him what he wants to do. Frustrated he replied, “Mom, I just want to go to Kindergarten!” Isn’t it amazing how kids can distill things down to what is really important?

“Mom, can we paint your car pink?” Brooklyn asks, dead serious!
[After watching Cops with Grandpa Kevin] “Mom, I want to take my handcuffs with me to the airport [tomorrow] in case we see any bad guys!” “Brooklyn, WHAT are your handcuffs?” asks Amber. She then proudly holds up her pearl church bracelet! ☺
“Brooklyn, WHAT happened to Boston’s HAIR???” [think berserk weedwacker] “Mom, Boston SAID it was okay…” Oh in that case…

“Dad, who goes to jail?” asks Brooklyn. “Bad people, mean people, people who steal things,” I reply. Boston immediately spouts off, “DAD, MOM STOLE A SHIRT AND A CANDY BAR FROM OLD NAVY!” “WHAT?” “Mom stole a shirt from Old Navy… are the police going to take her to jail?” Wow. I later confirmed that Amber had not shoplifted, reconfirming that Boston isn’t the most reliable source of information. The week earlier Bos and I got pulled over by a cop one night because my new registration stickers were missing and as soon as we got home he reported to his mother, “Mom, dad got pulled over by a policeman and he said dad is GOING TO JAIL!”

“Boston, where are you?” “Mom, I’m in here!” “Where?” “IN HERE MOM! [office]” “BOSTON, WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES?” “I took them off,” he says matter of factly. “WHY” “Mom, I peed in the bent!” “The bent?” “I peed in the bent, Mom!”
Yes, in the midst of potty training Boston earlier this year he did some target practice in the heating vent in our office (he does have a good aim) and 1 gallon of Clorox later the house smelled normal again! He later eventually potty trained himself on Father’s Day in what we now call the Immaculate Urination! Our most effective parenting method thus far is definitely divine intervention!

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
Love,
Amber, Tyler, Brooklyn, Boston, ???